I Crashed

Have you ever heard folks talking about their “mountain top experiences?” We would love to just skip from top to top, glory to glory, spiritual elation to euphoria to ecstasy. Well, in my life that is just not reality. There are valleys of lukewarm-ness, sin, despair, apathy, atrophy. I’m not so sure life should be a series of ups and downs: This is what we talk about but it shows no real progress. Sometimes I feel like that. Three steps forward, two back, one forward, two back, on and on. Lots of movement but no progress. Shouldn’t the Christian walk look move like:
Ups and downs, but slow steady progress. I have had those good, growth times. And I have crashed. Maybe it is emotional responses and not Godly zeal that takes our hearts. I have come back from thos special spiritual retreats to find the same sins at home waiting at the foot of my bed to slither up on me. That is the real world. We fall, we do better, commit to God again and continue the climb.

Frankly, that sucks. I get tired of working all the time. Tired of working to earn money, tired of working to keep a civil home, tired of working to be the husband, father, man, Christian that eve3ryone expects me to be. No, even worse – tired of being the husband, father, man, Christian God expects me to be – I don’t much care about what anyone else might think.

Being a Christians goes against the grain of society and often against the grain of our humanity. We want to be in control, make our own mistakes, make our own way. From Charles Manson to Donald Trump we want command. I know some folks that just seem to ride the tide and don’t want to make any decisions or stand out in any way. They are already dead – or just really frightened – or lazy. But we all seek control somewhere – even if it is just over our own bodily functions. We all know that sinking feeling inside when we are not in control of something we want to be or should be in control of. Ever loose control of your car? Do you recall that split second of panic when you feel you may be in serious trouble? Some hide their fear of loosing control with a murderous rampage, other with money and clout.

Christianity is not a picnic in the park and it is not for the weak. It takes strength and courage to risk giving up control. Jesus calls us out into the storm not out of the storm. He calls us to trust him with the control of our lives.

Maybe crashing is inherent in this life. But if you are not crashing once in a while, then you just aren’t driving fast enough.

Tag, You’re It

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs this week about “post modernity” and “the emergent church.” Some are for it, some against it. Personally I hate the tags. I’m not sure what I am and I’m not sure I know what either tag means, but I am sure that I don’t care. Maybe I’m just stupid, but I just want to do church in a way that makes folks, Christian and not, feel comfortable enough to seek God. I want to explore the Scriptures with boldness, calling truth, truth. Maybe I will post my statement of beliefs so others will know if I am “orthodox” or “evangelical,” “conservative” or “liberal.” I’m not sure I understand any of those terms either. There are a lot of guys I like from all camps and some I question from all camps.

Here’s my list of guys I listen to and read:
· Erwin McManus
· Mark Buchanan
· Rob Bell
· Mark Driscoll
· Dallas Willard
· Ravi Zacharias
· John Ortberg
· Steve Sjogren
· James Merriot
· Jenzen Franklin
· Chuck Colson
· Alan Nelson
· Ed Young, Jr.
· Doug Pagitt
· Thom Rainer
· Leonard Sweet
Are these guys post-modern? Emergent? Liberal? I really want to know!

And theses are the guys that intrigue me, I just haven’t gotten around to checking out their stuff:
· Chris Seay
· Andy Stanley
· John Burke
· Randy Frazee
· Tony Jones
· Dan Kimball

Here are some guys that just confuse me:
· Brian McLaren
· Tony Campolo
Now I know those 2 guys are post-modern icons but I just don’t get where their heads are on some things. And that is OK, we don’t have to agree on all things. So does that make me… not post-modern?

So what is my tag? I don’t know and I don’t care. I know what I want to see in the church and I think I have made that pretty clear so far on this blog. I know that the people I hang with at my home church and on the colleges that I serve love the concept and can’t wait for it to get off the ground. That is enough for me. It seems that God has struck a nerve in the 20 – 30 crowd (and in a few of us old guys too). So we need to get busy about the Father’s business and hang the tag! What I need is support personnel who what to jump into the muck of our world and sacrifice to raise up this church with me. I have to be honest, so far, there is a lot of good talk from people around me, but when you get down to really throwing in on this venture and risking it all to follow the call, no one is willing to commit. No one. Is that because I am a poor leader? God’s timing is not yet? I don’t know, but I am still looking for a team to make our what-ever-it-is church happen. The field is ready, we are not.